it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
