The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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