Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That's intense
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
