God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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