so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
