you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize