i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
