They should really pass out barf bags in church
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize