I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
