Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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