My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
