i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize