i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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