yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize