the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
