My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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