grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
