hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
