hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
