So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You pole danced in your parka.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
