Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I want a musical about memes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize