It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
