quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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