your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
