i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
