and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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