Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
