man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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