he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize