Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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