I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
