you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize