Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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