There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
