We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We just shotgunned beers for America
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize