They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
