i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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