there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
