Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
