Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I got inside last night via doggy door
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Two words: nipple clamps
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