you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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