If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
4 words: hood of his car
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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