I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
