watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
