there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
