So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize