he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
