Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
