I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
