i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
