pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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