This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
