sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
