Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
