people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
