I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
