I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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