very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think your dad took our porno
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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