Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
