So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
