my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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