Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
