It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you win again, gameday.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
