i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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