just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
